A paper plate in the china closet

photo by Kenneth B. Gall

For someone who did not last very long in the Bush administration, Scott McClellan plays a relatively large role in Small Appliance Puppet Theater's production of Puppet Government. First of all, there's his big press conference scene, (pictured here: that's Scotty on the left with members of the press) and condensed below for your enjoyment:

The Press: Mr. President, if it turns out that an administration official leaked the name of a CIA agent, what action will you take?

Bush: Whoever leaked Valarie Plame’s identity should be fired, sort of.

McClellan: What the president meant to say, is that it would be inappropriate to comment on an ongoing investigation.

The Press: Mr. President, do you feel that God guides your decisions?

Bush: I’m driven with a mission from God. God told me, George, go fight those terrorists in Afghanistan. Go end the tyranny in Iraq.” And I did.

McClellan: To clarify, the president never actually made that statement.

The Press: I just heard him.

McClellan: I’m afraid you’re mistaken. Next question?

And then a little later, Scotty has the biggest, funniest, most poignant soliloquy in the whole show when he tries to explain what the President meant to say. Why does such a small time Bush administration player get such big time exposure?

Well, most presidents fill their cabinets with fine china. Bush apparently prefers to use paper plates -- disposable items that can be tossed out once they have served their purpose. You could say that Scotty is representative of all the paper plates in Bush's kitchen. It's almost tempting to feel sorry for the little twerp who gave his all to the president, though of course the appalling truth remains that he did give his all to the president.

Hope he had something left over to help his mommy run for Governor of Texas!